saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
not ubering you a puppy
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
