I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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