I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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