Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
My butt remains clenched, sir.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
