Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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