Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
