ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.