I'm really into asian looking animals
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.