You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...