She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring