The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Gay?
German.
Pity.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize