I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
