We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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