Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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