my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
