my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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