He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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