what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
