It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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