"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize