I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
