I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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