how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
