I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
