Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
