mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
