Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
