I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize