I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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