Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
