My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize