Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize