Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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