Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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