Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
No subtext here. People are naked.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
