dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
