it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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