my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Someone came in the potted fern
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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