i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
