I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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