Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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