Hey man sorry I got all grabby
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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