We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize