I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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