Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
