I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
