I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
