he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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