Have you finally orgasmed yet?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
