She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You did what with his pubic hair?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
