is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
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I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
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It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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