I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
