I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
