The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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