everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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