Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
nutella sex= disaster
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
