One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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