At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
