So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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