if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
