Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
