he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
When did angry sex become our thing?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
