I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
