I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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